TO OCTOBER 30th

Nadine entered a flute competition; we moved; and Nadine actually got a NON-DELAYED chemo cycle. Among other things.

FLUTE COMPETITION

Nadine did much practicing for a flute competition on October 30th, although she made a somewhat late decision to enter it. I could see she really wanted to win this one. She was going to play the Dutilleux Sonatine, a long, difficult French piece that was fluttery at times and flashy at times. It took a while to find an accompanist -- it was more than I was up to in that time-frame, Irina was way too busy; Joe Werner, the wonderful RPO pianist, had an RPO rehearsal; two others had had babies; others were unknowns. Finally Irina agreed to accompany Nadine. Nadine had made marked improvements, and sounding really nice.

BEAUTIFUL DRESS

Thursday October 29th: Nadine got a beautiful dress -- actually, two beautiful dresses. Her flute competition was coming up the very next day. We went to Burlington Coat Factory (recommended by her teacher Sophia). originally for something neat and less dressy. But there was nothing appropriate, so she and I each picked out a "fancier" dress for her, and both looked gorgeous! Both were sleeveless -- I picked a warm silky brown with a smooth line and twinkly clear mesh over it; she chose one more dressy, was silky deep-plum-purple with a very sparkly belt and a lower neckline.

I stared at her with the dresses on -- how magnificent and lovely she looked -- it was a joy to see her. I hope she realized how beautiful she looked, so willowy, graceful, and stunning.

After she tired out, we left -- with both dresses. She deserved them.

COMPETITION DAY

Nadine had dark-dark circles under her eyes -- this happens often. And she was pale. I called Lauren Spiker at TLC, to ask if anyone knew about make-up, and she recommended aa make-up specialist who volunteered to help Nadine (TLC has so many abundant resources), but I couldn't reach the woman. Here it was competition day, and I was running off to CVS to buy a bundle of make-up -- they allow returns on used make-up. I admit that Nadine wasn't the only to try it.

Amazingly, shortly before we left the house to go to the competition, the dark circles under Nadine's eyes spontanteously disappeared so she didn't need the make-up. All right!!!

At the competition site, Nadine put on that gorgeous dress, "warmed up" downstairs with irina, and played beautifully. After that, we went home. The winner would get a phone call.

No phone call. She didn't "win", at least not officially. But she really did win. So much learning, so much growth.

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OTHER STUFF Tuesday October 20th

Nadine had the first post-Journeys get-together with her TLC friends. I went to the Golden Links folksong swap again and actually sang at it. It was the first time I'd sung one of my own songs in public -- I shared a funny one called Tap Tap, about pregnancy. It felt really nice, even though my voice felt shot.

THEORY FOR ME -- YUMM

Wednesday October 21st -- Theory class for me with Margaret Henry. I know how important it is that I stay in touch with the "me-ness" in the face of lovingly caring for Nadine. To me, music is so important, including classical music and theory. I truly want to be a composer and a writer, and to develop this more and more fully over the years. Having had years of music theory "way back when", I've cherished the opportunity to go back and do it again -- there is so much new since I studied it, not to mention what I only "think" is new (having forgotten some). I still feel held back in my own composing by now knowing much about orchestration, and that keeps me from writing for the instruments that :I envision. Sometimes I have a sound "picture" and am not sure what instruments would make that sound,. I's a struggle.

CRAFTS PARTY FOR NADINE

Nadine had a wonderful craft-making session with her friends Louisa, Sarah and Mia from the youth symphony orchestra and theory class. When I got to the place, they were gleefully seated at a table doing yarn stuff -- it was nice to see them get together for things other than music. No sign of chemo wear-and-tear that afternoon. Just friendship and enjoyment. Makes me smile to think of it.

Friday October 23rd:

We were going to move into the new house on Sunday October 25th, but surprise, Hassler announced he was sick -- I made a quick decision to move out early, much as it would have been nice to have a final dinner (as planned) and an orderly packing-up. Instead, :I installed Nadine in our room and slammed our things into the car, and we left. As there were many loads to "slam", it still took a while. We would have been back at MacDonald House, but Diana and Brian invited us to stay, which was a delightful idea -- II'd been looking forward to a nice visit with them and their graciousness facilitated this. We watched movies together -- actually, the "kids" watched an animation flick while and the "grown-ups" watched a romantic comedy. I had a restful visit and evening, and Nadine stayed up late talking with Rafi. I said something like "early bedtime" to her, but it was a lost cause (I knew this in advance) and I knew that the benefit of her fun outweighed any downside of lateness.

Saturday October 24th:

A peaceful day, period.

MOVING AGAIN Sunday October 25th: We moved to the new house. The first one we'd been alone in. I had loved staying with friends. Being alone, I could sing in the kitchen without feeling weird (or feeling someone was watching me being weird). The house, though, felt strange and foreign. I loved the neighborhood, close to everything and yet not like "inner city". I thought of placing some of our things in strategic places; maybe that would help it look familiar. Surprisingly, it took less effort than I'd thought -- I stood a large drawing Rafi did of Nadine, and the oil painting of a dancer that Nadine's friend Erica created for her, on the living room mantle, and neatly stacked games on a low cabinet. I put some our things in the kitchen. Upstairs, Nadine hung some of her jewelry on the bedpost. It didn't take that much doing. I was happy to cook our first dinner. We were between Abundance Co-Op and Wegman's, and that was nice. We each had our own room. I set up the electronic piano in the study -- it fit nicely, and I could practice.

Monday October 26--27th: SETTLING IN; ACOUSTICS PERFECT FOR MUSIC We were at the house settling in. Nadine was feeling really well around then, which was a gift.

Nadine noticed that the acoustics for flute playing in the house were absolutely wonderful -- the night ceilings may have had something to do with it. She loved practicing and hearing her flute. As she had the flute fair competition that Friday, it was a perfect time for it. She sounded excellent and vibrant.

Nadine and I played some "tunes" together at some point, and this was a complete joy.

COUNTS UP, CHEMO ON TIME. YIPPEEEEE! Wednesday October 28th: Nadine's blood counts were WONDERFUL, and she got chemo on time!!! After 2 seriously delayed cycles, she had a NormaThree Week Cycle, and in went the usual meds. This was a gift of gifts, yucky as the side effects would be..