This was the big gala performance/celebration of the girls, including Nadine, at Teens Living with Cancer, featuring each girl choosing/creating a character and vibrantly representing her personal journey. A celebration of Life, connection, even humor, of and by these wonderful teens who've been hijacked into this danger and facing it. And a beautiful time for these girls to get to know each other, form friendship and connection, learn about themselves, try new stuff and also have fun.
NADINE'S PERFORMANCE --- She appeared on the stage, sitting cross-legged dressed in black, playing “The Icy Drive”, her flute piece. Beside her a snowglobe was projected on a large screen, with “snow” falling piecefully from it. Suddenly the snowglobe shook violently. Pieces of hospital paraphernalia began to infiltrate the falling snow – syringes, gauze, pieces of lab print-outs of blood levels, even a hospital parking permit taking over and crowding over the snow, constant and sinister contamination of pure white snowy beauty with hospital stuff, the stuff of illness and disruption, of cancer crowding out normal cells. Meanwhile, on the stage, sinister creatures (the Push Theater people) crept behind Nadine as she played, and began to dump huge snowlike clumps of hospital gauze onto her. She continued to play the flute until she was overwhelmed by the onslaught and stopped. It was all scary. Then eventually she picked up her flute and began to play again; the shadowy creatures stopped throwing gauze and slunk away. The tune she was playing was a different one from the one she started with. Both tunes had been composed by Nadine – the first one (The Icy Drive) quite a while ago; the second, as yet unnamed, was a slow beautiful minor waltz she had composed in the hospital.
Later, Nadine explained that the imagery was of herself unknowing being inside a snowglobe when all of this happened.
The snowglobe full of contaminants reminded me personally of the broken-up shards and relics of nature and households that float in the ocean after a tsunami.
Two months later, she named her waltz Shadowglobe.
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PREPARING
There were weeks of rehearsing, journaling, brainstorming, creating computer animation and artwork. A skilled, warmth-infused group of professional-quality helpers supported them as they conceived, worked on, practiced, refined, and performed -- photographers,, the Push Theater Company (which performs at GEVA), Carrie Matarese, superb photographer and operator/owner of a wonderful studio; Charles Cote to facilitate writing and thought; a computer animation specialist; videographers. Lauren, the group's founder, there for everything.
The exact contact was kept secret from me (and the other parents) although I noticed little clue-lets (or teasers) -- Nadine asking desperately for a snow-globe -- a SNOW-GLOBE?; collages were being made; Nadine rabidly collected and stockpiled copious amounts of hospital/medical scraps and memorabilia (enlisting Nurse Jessie for more). Biohazard bags, gauze, parking passes, test tubes, old (needle-less) syringes. She studied computer animation. Her skit was so involved she needed an extra rehearsal session; I suspected her flute might appear. Once when I arrived to get Nadine, all the kids were in the front lobby in a big vibrant circle, with video happening. Another time, I picked up Nadine at Penfield High School where she was working on her computer animation. She was complimented for her diligence.
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PHOTO SHOOT
I was invited to see the end of Nadine's photo session. I walked through the darkened lounge into the bright-bright-lit studio with white reflectors and hanging portrait lights; disco-type music on the stereo; Nadine was bald-headed in black leotard and silky black culotte and amazing make-up, her eyes highlighted with dark liner and white eyeshadow; her lips thickly covered with a pattern with alternating sections of deep red and gold lipstick . She was accessorized with an enormous complement of accessories fashioned from the medical paraphernalia, including a bow,made of a long strip of red Biohazard bag, adorning her head. Lights were flashing and strange glittery light-catching streamers moved through the air. Nadine looked high fashioned, ”glam” to the max, even her sultry expression perfect. She was also stunningly gorgeous. Carrie, with her camera, assumed odd postures including lying flat on the floor, busily snappy pix from many angles.
Nadine's flute came out. She sat cross-legged on the floor in her black costume and make-up, playing the flute. More pix. One of the Push Theater people crept out behind her and placed his hands on the flute, making it look like there were four hands playing it; Amazing all around.
Nadine was obviously having such a BLAST! A whole new world for her.
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When I took Nadine to the dress rehearsal, I saw girls squiggling around, then sitting together on the stage, legs dangling; tech people getting things right or not, the stage lighting, the huge fancy hall with dinner tables; a display for the donated silent auction items, which would include Nadine's chain maille necklace.
As the girls did their informal antics, their body language showed that their deep closenss was not a staged act.
There was a huge poster of each girl from the photoshoots. Most were "portrait" pictures, gorgeous or humorous. Nadine's was brave and different; even chilling although still beautiful. Her face was stark with much make-up; she was held by many people, and there were medical stuff all around -- supplies, someone was pointing a syringe at her arm.
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THE EVENING
The evening included a gala dinner, and honored the teens and their families. The honoring included teens who died of cancer too young (but not before they'd had some living), honored those who are long-term survivors, honored the rest of them, honored the families and support networks, honored all the teens touched by cancer, celebrated with all of them. Candles were lit.
Families, and many of the hospital staffers we knew attended. Although tickets were expensive, families of the teens, and the nurses and tech people, were invited free. Many doctors came. It was a treat to see folks whom I had only known wearing lab uniforms and wielding syringes, notepads and blood-pressure cuffs, looking dressed up and gorgeous. Nurses from Hospital Wing 414 and the Hem-Onc Clinic were there; Emily was glamorous; Renee the tech who welcomes teens to the clinic wore a softly lavender-flowered dress;; Jessie the visiting nurse came with her dapper-looking husband; Dr. Milner was there; Dr. Bruckner with her daughter; Eric Iglewski looking radiant as always; many others. I got Nadine's beautiful chain maille necklace there right on time for the silent auction; a card was set up and I got to place them carefully with the other jewelry.
We were assigned a table close to the stage and found a spot perfect for video. There were nice conversations. I spoke with Bethany's mom -- Bethany is a bit older than Nadine and also has battled ALL, which is what Nadine is battling. We talked about maintaining contact, and I hope that happens.
Lauren introduced the evening, and spoke of her own experiences. Someone spoke honoring those teens who had died of cancer. Candles were lit. It was a solemn time for me, and I'm sure for others as well. There was other talk as well.
And then the show -- lights on, the girls came out. Each did a wonderful performance based on her experience with cancer. They were all amazing, each a literal, symbolic and completely unique presentation of her "journey" fighting cancer. Imagery included soccer shoes; red high-heel shoes; a long platinum blonde wig; striped socks; a rose handed to a mom. Nadine appeared in one skit in a black top hat. The evening ended with a girl beautifully singing Over the Rainbow with others around her; I felt so "moved".
VIGNETTES OF PREPARATION
Once I picked up Nadine at Pennfield High School and she was working on computer animation. She was complimented by the animation specialist on how diligently she worked to make her complicated idea a reality.
Nadine rabidly collected hospital and medical “stuff” and scraps. Pieces of Biohazard bags, gauze, packages from disinfectant wipes, the wipes themselves, masks, the works. Once she asked Jessie the nurse for help; we were at Ronald MacDonald House at the time. Jessie took Nadine out to her car, parked outside. The two of them looked like dumpster-divers, diving headfirst into the back of Jessie's SUV from which Nadine “scored” blood-drawing tubes, (needle-less) syringes, and other medical paraphernalia that Jessie cheerily contributed to the “cause”.
Before the photo shoot I got an interesting peek when I picked Nadine up from Carrie's photo studio, located in a artful-looking wonderful complex of lofts on Railroad Avenue (there is a front gate where one has to press a keypad to ask for access). It was about 3:30 in the afternoon, and I was waiting outside; they were running late. One or two moms were waiting outside. One girl came out of the studio, threw up, and went back to what she was doing. There was much discussion; dressed-up girls paraded in and out; it looked lively.
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MY MUSINGS (grandiose but real thoughts)
It was celebration of life, of connection/community, of joy, and the archetype of the Righteous Fight, the battle to slay the ultimate enemy which I believe, whatever the rhetoric or rationalization, is never a human being. I believe that enemy is disease, untimely death, injustice, poverty, suffering.
Here are these beautiful teens, in the beauty of their wild emerging youth, tossed into this life-threatening battle, and doing a noble and wild job. All their resources are there-- their gentle sweetness, their humor, their verve, their outrageousness, and their "internal warriors". They are heroes of heroes, thrust into the this all too young.
Fairness would say they should be doing very different teen things, both serious and frivolous, as they transition to adulthood. Instead, they've been hijacked onto a very different, and very scary, journey, and they're taking it on.
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