LATER DECEMBER

Slumps, rises, 7-layer dip, On December 24th, New Year's, visits, music, etc.

DECEMBER 24TH -- Nadine had a brief evening slump again, and lay in the study with her head on Barry's lap while I sat at the piano and improvised peaceful music for her. It was a long time since this had happened. I was glad to be able to help her feel better. I looked at her often as I created the music for her. The slump ended in about an hour or two, a relatively short time as these things go. given the huge slugs of big-big-big cvhemo meds she'd gotten in spinal fluid, veins, and mouth the day before, she was doing amazingly well.

We had a late-ish supper -- a steak from the farm-raised beef, a nice thick gravy, and baked sweet potatos, She'd lost about 38 pounds since May.

DECEMBER 25th

SEVEN-LAYER DIP!!! NADINE MADE IT AND ATE WELL. Nadine lovingly made glass casserole dish of 7-layer dip, nice and creamy with refried beans, guacamole, salsa, sour cream, grated cheese, lettuce, olives, and green onions. I had actually suggested it a while earlier, and as Nadine was into recipes, she looked it up online. I braved Wegman's and bought guacamole, sour cream, scallions, organic cheese, two sizes of tortillas and even olives. It was really delicious, and she ate very, very well. She had it with chips, and she had it rolled into huge burritos.

I felt heartened. Meanwhile I baked up cinnamon bread, making a loaf for Victor's family -- he was coming over to practice, and they always brought wonderful gifts. This time they brought fancy chocolates.

THE REST OF THE DAY
I blasted the house to get it clean and neat -- I was so tired of the mess and dirt. It felt excellent to do the job, even scrubbing the ktichen floor.

Victor arrived to practice with Nadine. I heard some surprising cacophony, and wondered what was going on -- I peeked in and found they were working on memorizing the thing. The bread finished just as Victor and his mom left.

Afterwards, a very animated Nadine left with Barry in the rain to go ice skating at an outdoor rink, and returned shortly afterwards, having not skated. Barry wanted to go to an open mike listed in the paper at Spot Coffee, but it was closed. I asked if we could drive around and look at the lights and we did -- it was beautiful seeing the cascade of lights radiating down from the Liberty Pole through the rainy windshiled, and other street scenes -- I loved photographing the images of wonderous lights in the rain. I got to bed about 2AM, way too late.

DECEMBER 26TH

A cold, rainy and wistful morning. But pancakes for the second day in a row were delicious. Maple syrup and berries and nuts. Yay!!

I finally set up the Berkey water filter. I feel I'd been completely irresponsible in allowing us all to drink unfiltered tap water for so long -- about 6 months. Each time I'd poured out water from the tap to drink, I'd have that nagging "I don't want us to drink this" feeling, but still delayed. Maybe it was the temporary moving and maybe it was the overwhelming list of things on my mind, and maybe, most likely really, it was the knowledge that no matter how simple it could seem in theory, the process of researching, choosing, price-checking,ordering, and installing a filter would have to be complicated and time-consuming. And it was. But finally I'd picked the Berkey, and there it was. The first thing that happened was that the taste was metallic, and the receptacle overlowed onto the floor making a huge mess. At least it was a clean mess, since I'd washed the floor.

I practiced again -- it was less than 3 weeks to playing it for her at the Cattaraugus scholarship competition, and it was a "bear" of an accompaniment, and I was going really, really slowly on it. It wasn't always fast (although it had its moments), but it was complex and hard to finger.

Nadine was going to record in Ithaca with her other band on Monday December 28th -- her chemo cycle might make it tricky, but she really wanted to do it, so it might work out -- I'd have to make sure themeds went right htis time. I felt sad that Nadine and I hadn't finished our own CD, which we'd started at the same studio -- I even felt a bit jealous that she was going to record with another group and she and I hadn't worked there since her diagnosis. Oh well, it's not their fault. It means I should call and arrange to take us over to finish our own work.

Nadine spent a long time peacefully knitting -- she has been doing a lot of that, plus chain maille and it was nice to see it happen.

There was a quiet day, and we all went up to Hilton to visit some friends of Barry's, in their 80's, about a half hour away -- the river was behind the house, and we all had excellent talks and fun. It felt like we were out of the city and in a peaceful family situation. The men talked politics and the two "old ladies" (her and me) talked about families, and about when enough talk of politics was enough, at least in our view.

Nadine rested up a lot on the couch, probably with her knitting, and she loved petting the beautiful soft cat -- she said she was getting her "cat fix". She shared some flute with everyone later on.

PREPARING FOR PROKOFIEV As for me, I was doing a lot of practicing on the Prokofiev, a consuming project. I wonder if I'd do this much intense practice if she wasn't needing it. Perhaps I should arrange to do a recital myself. The last few weeks included very intense practice, divided into several sessions per day to get the "equivalent" of more than one day of practice per day; this was ongoing. I felt I HAD to have it right for her competition day, and it was a challenge!!

NADINE OFF TO ITHACA On December 27th, Nadine left with Barry to meet Rachel in Hornell to record in Ithaca, and I had another catch-up day, getting practice and chores done. Nadine had forgotten to bring the hand sanitizer I'd gotten to distribute over there, and they stopped to get some. I don't think much else was eventful. I did fuss to make sure some people there knew she had meds to take, including Will Russell (the engineer, who understood) and Peter Blue, who is an emergency medical technician and whose wife is a nurse. I felt she was in okay hands, but after the last mess of forgotten medicine, I felt compulsive, and sent out an email with her med list. I think Nadine felt I was coddling her way too much. I often tell people that all my checking up is more to make feel better. I think I deserve it.

DECEMBER 28th (Monday) -- Actually a peaceful day by myself. I was still working hard on Prokofiev, and also on catching uo on other chores. I also feel it's important to compile notes on our experiences, and felt seriously behind. Nadine returned on Tuesday morning.

PRACTICE INTERFERES WITH SOME TIME TOGETHER I felt so wrapped up in having to practice the Prokofiev for her competition that I feel that I was neglecting doing things with Nadine that were important too. She wanted me to sit with her and watch a movie together. I felt so driven to practice that I told her I needed to finish my work first. By the time I finished, it was too late to watch the movie together, and I felt VERY sad.

TIME TOGETHER --
I did do some things with Nadine though, and those were glorious. She invited me to knit with her, and that was just stellar to do, sitting down on the couch and creating things.

Another time, she invited me to collage with her. I had generally found collaging not gratifying except for Nadine's company and pleasure in it, but I started to enjoy the collaging as well, and created a nice piece (in my eye) about enjoying nature, and then created a note-card that I'd like to send to Lauren Sample.

She invited me to watch Pride and Prejudice with her and we sat on the couch with it and I enjoyed it so much, as did she, all the frills and deep stuff and misunderstandings and lifestyle things, and dances, and beautiful photography and words. It was wonderful to share that with just us.

NADINE'S WEIGHT UP -- YAY FOR 7-LAYER DIP

Nurse Jessie came on Tuesday December 29th .. NADINE GAINED 6 POUNDS!!! Go, Nadine!