Wilted but Occasionally Perky -- , Music Comes to The Door

Over the last few days, although we've had fun, Nadine started to feel awful again-- although she did get cheered up by the fiddle camp that literally came to her door, and seems to "take breaks" from her illness, to join the fun and even play some flute with people, her body language and face animated, before going back upstairs to rest. She can hear the music from her bedroom.

Her blood counts went down (really low but normal) but didn't go back up as expected by now. She started getting tired, circles under the eyes, queasy in the tummy, pale, etc., and once again I cried about it. The person at the clinic said she doesn't expect Nadine's platelets to be high enough to start her next chemo cycle today, although she'll get a blood test to make sure. She may get another transfusion today. It's so hard to see her like this again.

There were some cheery times. She perked up yewterday for about 20 minutes to play flute at a really nice jam session at the music workshop. She got a surprise -- Andrew and Noah Van Norstrand, two lively, wonderful young musicians who she enjoys seeing and knows from Ashokan and other spots, were teaching at the workshop here -- they had no idea she was here, and were enthused to see her. She visited some with them, and came down and played some tunes with the fiddle-camp group. She had fun watching Andrew and Noah's short and lively concert. Later she joked around with them and others.

I was thrilled to be able to do piano for some of the camp -- I'd sure missed that. Sometimes I don't realize how much I've missed something until I go back to it. Accompanying and enhancing a group of about 20 young musicians was a treat. And hearing the music around me all day was a pleasure.

Later, I sat at the piano in the kitchen (what a gift to have it there) and created an improvised waltz, and also found myself playing some old and overplayed but achingly beautiful waltzes (South Wind and Shebag and Sh'More). Sometimes when I put my hands on the piano I have no idea what will come out.

We can't travel far to participate in music -- it's a treat to have the music come to us.

I had a nice morning talk with Alice, who is a very caring person and a wonderfully sensitive and lively musician as well. I had enjoyed her improvising earlier.

I invited Andrew and Noah to have dinner with us last night -- our first dinner guests since we moved here. We had the meal outside at the picnic table, just perfect. Nadine was downstairs for the occasion, and had a nice talk with them. Afterwards they rehearsed in the performance area, Nadine went up to bed, and I did some music and went up here. She could hear the rehearsal from her bedroom and liked it.

I took out the hammock and lay on it for about 10 minutes, watching the trees and leaves rocking gently against the pre-sunset sky. It's already starting to get dark earlier, but not too early yet. The short relaxation was a gift.

Well, enough for today. Back getting ready for clinic. I'm glad for the gifts we've received in the middle of all of this.